*disclosure: This is an excerpt from a journal I kept the second week of June 2020. I spent this week starting a journey to understand and educate myself on racism in America and world wide, to understand my own racism and to start to work that I will be doing everyday for the rest of my life. This was the start of my journey, I was (and am) still learning. I’m just sharing my process, in hopes that it helps. This isn’t meant as a manual and I’m not an expert…. this is meant to provoke thought, educational processes, and action. . Please read Days 1-5 first.
Day 6:
Today ended up being more of a ‘rest’ day than I originally intended. I got together with a friend for a social distancing coffee, you know, opposite ends of two different picnic tables. We went for a walk and had a deep conversation about race, about how we have been feeling, what we have learned and what we still don’t understand as well as we would like. It’s helpful. Maybe you can relate, if you can’t try it. But find someone who has also been taking the time to educate themselves.
I was planning on putting up posters, however a torrential downpour began about halfway through our walk, I went home wet, but feeling rejuvenated by the rain, fresh air, and conversation. I read an essay, shared some voices, worked on the blog that this will be posted to, and ended up falling asleep snuggling with my cat for an hour and a half.
After that my partner and I went to tour a house and followed that with an evening drive to look at neighborhoods and houses we like. We curled up together when we got home and I was reminded that it is also my work to care for the people around me, especially the POC, mixed, and yes my half-black, almost white passing boyfriend. He’s hurting, tired, and stressed. He’s frustrated and confused because he isn’t always identified as black, but it doesn’t change that these people are his family and his ancestors. We went to bed early.
Coffee & Conundrums 