I think my entire life I have found joy in trying new things. From a young age I wanted to see all 50 states, try new foods, and live in different places. I think it was one of the reasons I originally resisted so many of the things that were a part of my childhood. As I’ve gotten older this has morphed and changed, I still like to travel and try new things, but I’ve learned to find joy in new books, new routines, and new cups of coffee. I like to plan out my new experiences a little bit, though I make a point to leave space for inspiration and spontaneity. Nick is like this too… though in his own unique way.
One of the reasons we moved across the country was to have access to new places, things, and people. And the first few months we did that… but we also had to make sure we kept our feet on the ground. We were new to our jobs, the area, and had lots of adulting still to figure out. We spent most of our vacation time back home for one reason or another. It wasn’t easy but we found the time and space to explore on the weekends.
When my dad passed unexpectedly, it meant even more time and money going towards going home. It meant exhaustion, depression, and anxiety. It also meant me feeling this overwhelming desire for control, stability, and the already known. It took me six months to want to try new things again… Two months after that, the pandemic hit. Which was new for sure, but it didn’t take very long for it to get really really old. Sure we found ways to make it more interesting, masked picnic game nights, Bob Ross painting date nights, and house hunting.. but it was a hit to our happiness, being stuck.
After we bought the house and the newness of that wore off just a little… we fell into a second slump. This post holiday season, bad weather, pandemic boredom slump. Sure we were kicking ass in work and school. We were doing what we could with the house… But seasonal depression had set in and something had happened that I never saw coming. We forgot about purposefully having fun. We’d given up on trying to find new things to do… a love we have always shared. We got so tied up in adulting, living, and quarantine, we quite literally forgot to have fun.
After two REALLY long, hard months… I realized what had happened. Why we felt so disconnected and bored, despite having a beautiful home, decent jobs, time together, and everything else we could possibly need. I don’t even know if I know exactly how I remembered and realized what had happened, but it was really a wonderful moment. Of course the moral and perhaps most important part of this whole thing, is what the heck do you do next.
First we talked about it, about how much we missed the fun little adventures we used to go on. And then we started making plans. First a few hours in a new neighborhood for window shopping and art viewing, then a fun new restaurant to try for takeout. Fancy tea tasting at home, two person board games, and a weekend in a cabin on the mountain. And as the weather has gotten warmer we’ve started our garden, gotten mason bees, been listening to audio books together, and playing tennis. We’ve been finding ways again, to find little things to get excited about.
If you’re like us, adulting away, stuck at home, staying safe… but you’re missing out on the joy of trying new things, I hope this serves as a reminder and maybe even gives you some ideas.
Other *NEW things I have planned for us:
- flying first class for Nick’s birthday.
- teaching his family a new board game.
- hosting game night once a month at our place.
- trying a new food truck that was suggested.
And of course, while doing fun things with your partner can really help, don’t forget to try new things for you too. I’ve been roller skating, working on cooking, listening to new podcasts, spending more time with friends as it becomes safer, and have been enjoying more projects that are just for me.
Drop any ideas or inspirations for other things we can do to keep our joys coming in and hope you all have a great day.
Coffee & Conundrums 